Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
