am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
