Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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