There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
