she was so not down for the gang bang
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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