if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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