You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
