I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
