Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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