we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
