That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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