PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
