I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
