I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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