He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
