Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
