finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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