But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Girls should come with a carfax report
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
