Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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