Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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