She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
