i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
