my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
