oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
