im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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