I looked at my own cervix.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
