Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
