Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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