think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
