I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have post one night stand depression
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