i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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