She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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