did you get engaged???
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
