dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
