Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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