I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
