brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
