the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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