If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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