Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize