Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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