the room spins SO much faster in panama
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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