feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
