I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
