took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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