So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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