He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize