We named our party play list daddy issues
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
