The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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