I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
