Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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