I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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