So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
