You're so nebulous sometimes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
only if we run a train.
done.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
