You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My liver just broke up with me...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
