"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
