Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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