does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
