So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
