no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
