All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
