i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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