Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
