chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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