In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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