there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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