direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
