if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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