he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
