porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
