the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
