Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
