ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
